My connection with the Lived experience/Peer support community has fundamentally improved the quality of my life and assisted in progressing my recovery from mental illness more than anything I have tried in the last thirty years.
Sam

I was born into a family in crisis, with an alcohol dependent mother, a brother who died prematurely from muscular dystrophy and a father who struggled to support us as a single parent. I was a strong child, out of necessity, however, began to feel anxious and depressed shortly after my brother passed. I was twenty-one years old and already had a heavy, daily drinking problem, following in my mothers’ footsteps. My first severe panic attack occurred at work, in a supermarket, when it overwhelmed me, and I collapsed to the floor. I came too in the hospital, under sedation, wondering what happened. My decline had begun.
I continued to drink on a nightly basis and more heavily on the weekends, it seemed to control my anxiety and depression effectively. I was still high functioning during the weekdays and held down a successful career in grocery retail management that would last for thirty years. I also performed regularly in a band. However the more pressure and stress I would be under at work the more I would drink to negate these feelings.
In 2008 I transferred to remote Gove Nhulunbuy in the Northern Territory and along with the company I kept and the hot, humid climate I began to drink more and more. Health problems began to occur, like severe gastric reflux, a broken leg and daily DT tremors.
Then in 2011 I transferred to Darwin and the drinking problem transferred with me.

I began to feel as though my colleagues knew I had a problem and by 2017 I was compelled to leave the company and became unemployable. Drinking became my new full-time job and I soon wound up in hospital with complications from an abdominal hernia.
The alcohol and drug department interviewed me, and it was decided that I either enter a rehab for a period of twelve weeks or perhaps face the possibility that I may expire from alcohol dependency.
As I detoxed it became clear that the alcohol was merely a symptom of the underlining issues of anxiety and depression. I needed to find out why I felt this way all the time and deal with those problems once and for all if I were to have a chance at life again.

At the rehab I realised I needed a life plan to manage without alcohol, however, I had no idea what that looked like. I began to develop relationships in the centre for the first time in thirty years and discovered that people actually liked the sober me. I started to get my feelings back after suppressing them for so long.
The field worker for Grow, Katherine, came to the centre to deliver a session on what Grow is and what it could offer the residents, and one thing got my attention straight away. Unlike other twelve step programs Grow did not employ a deity to explain away fictional concepts, it used reason and truth. I was also assured that Grow members were, in fact, ordinary people with ordinary problems seeking to address them.
I decided to organise a group of interested people to attend the next Grow meeting and ask the centre to drive us there in the centre’s bus. There were nine of us. Needless to say, the three members were surprised to see us all piling out of the bus that night. By the end of the meeting there was hugs all around and I had made the commitment to return the following week. Peer power had begun to reveal itself to me.
I began to feel a part of a community who understood me, I would also explore, AA, NA, AL anon, counselling, self-help books, anything I could consume in relation to recovery, I would explore. I came across a controversial Alcohol use disorder solution that had a 78% success rate, called the Sinclair method, and I found I could leave alcohol behind easily. With no more alcohol, however, I needed support to find my feet in the world again.

I found a program that led me to the N.T. lived experience network and in the space of one year, I went from someone who couldn’t function without alcohol, to working on certificate IV in peer support and entertaining the notion that I could return to work in an entirely new field and value my lived experience as my everyday work companion. I learnt everything from goal setting, self-care, connecting techniques and my go to work tool C.H.I.M.E. (Connectedness, Hope, Identity, Meaning and Empowerment).
Four years after my recovery journey began, I am a Sinclair method coach, Organiser at Grow, Facilitator at NT lived experience network, peer support worker at a local mental health service hub, an author, and a public speaker. The support of my peers in my recovery is 99% of the reason I am still upright today, and 1% thanks to one little pill (the Sinclair method). After gaining understanding of my problems, acceptance of my problems, genuine connection with others with lived experience, I saw hope for my own continuing value and existence, I saw purpose, meaning and a developing identity within myself and a sense that I own the future. Gratitude is all I have left regarding my journey, I have left all the guilt, shame, and remorse behind. I now feel privileged to share my story with others with the hope that even a small part of it may resonate with someone who needs it.